Why Avoidance Makes Anxiety Worse (And What to Do Instead)

Written By Brittany Rine

Description: Avoidance may reduce anxiety in the moment, but it actually strengthens anxiety long-term. Learn how the avoidance cycle works and how to break it using practical, therapist-backed strategies.

Why Avoidance Feels Like It Helps

If you struggle with anxiety, you’ve probably noticed this pattern:

You feel anxious about something.
You avoid it.
You immediately feel better.

That relief feels like proof that avoidance works.

But here’s the problem:

Avoidance reduces anxiety short term — and increases it long term.

Understanding why requires understanding how the anxiety-avoidance cycle works.

The Anxiety Avoidance Cycle Explained

Anxiety often starts with a trigger:

  • A social event

  • A difficult conversation

  • School or work tasks

  • An email you don’t want to send

  • A responsibility that feels overwhelming

Your brain interprets the situation as a threat. Your body reacts with:

  • Racing thoughts

  • Tight chest

  • Restlessness

  • Dread

  • Urgency to escape

So you avoid the thing.

You cancel the plan.
You put off the task.
You don’t send the text.

And your anxiety drops.

Your brain then learns something very important:

“Avoiding this kept me safe.”

That lesson strengthens anxiety the next time.

Why Avoidance Actually Increases Anxiety

Avoidance teaches your nervous system that the situation was dangerous, even if it wasn’t.

Each time you avoid:

  • The task feels bigger next time.

  • The fear feels more justified.

  • Your confidence shrinks.

  • The anxiety spike happens faster.

Avoidance prevents your brain from learning:

“I can handle this.”

Without exposure to the feared situation, your brain never updates the threat response.

This is why anxiety grows over time when avoidance becomes a habit.

How to Break the Avoidance Cycle

Breaking avoidance does not mean forcing yourself into distress, it means approaching anxiety strategically.

1. Start Small

Instead of finishing the entire task, commit to five minutes.

Reducing the entry barrier lowers anxiety activation.

2. Regulate Before You Act

Use grounding techniques:

  • Slow breathing (4 seconds in, 6 seconds out)

  • Cold water on the face

  • Brief movement

Calm body first. Then act.

3. Allow Discomfort

Remind yourself:
“Anxiety is uncomfortable, not dangerous.”

Discomfort tolerated becomes confidence built.

4. Track Evidence

After facing the situation, reflect:

  • What actually happened?

  • Was it as bad as predicted?

  • What did I handle well?

Your brain needs proof.

Why Exposure Builds Confidence

Every time you face something you previously avoided, you teach your brain:

“I survived.”
“I can cope.”
“I am capable.”

Confidence doesn’t come from avoiding anxiety, it comes from moving through it.

When to Seek Help

If avoidance is impacting:

  • Work or school performance

  • Relationships

  • Daily functioning

  • Self-esteem

Therapy can help you identify patterns, address underlying attachment dynamics, and build practical regulation tools. Anxiety is treatable, avoidance is changeable, and your nervous system is adaptable.

Final Thoughts

Avoidance makes anxiety worse because it convinces your brain that you cannot handle discomfort. But the opposite is true. Each time you approach something you once avoided, you weaken anxiety’s hold. Not by eliminating fear, but by building evidence of your resilience.

Brittany Rine